Symptom #1 – Berating Through Allegory

When dealing with a dipshit, do understand that if you cannot read between the lines of evasive and vague allegory, you’re unlikely to know when they hate you with every ounce of their being. A dipshit will often fancy themselves rather witty and/or crafty, and will use thinly veiled reference to attack those who don’t stand for their Dipshittery™.

In almost every circumstance, allegories will be handled in the confines of a given social clique. For example, if the dipshit in question is a furry, expect to be portrayed as a vicious bear or shark, opposing the noble wolf. Fantasy nerd? Let’s hope being portrayed as an orc doesn’t hurt your feelings.

Speak with them on good terms, and they’ll brag about their allegorical scenarios. They’ll tell you how they cleverly added a pretentious painter individual into a short story as a maniacal robot who is self-important painter who happens to be the scourge of WolfPlanet. However, this doesn’t work both ways. Confront them later about the story about “Crob the Terrible, Securitron Malificent,” when your name happens to be Rob, and you’re a Security Guard, they’ll make clever comments about how the story isn’t about you, but if you feel like it is, you might want to consider why you think that way.

Dealing with this breed of dipshit is simple; have the last word. Let them be aware of what they’ve done and/or said, and how transparent it is. Then back off, ignore them. They’ll brew like the little teapots they are.


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May 2008
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