Symptom #2 – Over-inflated Professional Duty

Have you ever known a janitor who is a “Waste Removal Specialist?” Have you ever known a secretary who is a “Document Handling Technician?” Chances are, you’re dealing with a dipshit. This breed of dipshit is particularly entertaining to listen to, because they will diagnose at their supposed level of expertise, while a subject who has attended a modicum of college can point out the fallacies in the diagnosis.

Often, these situations are result of the very tragic problem of being too old and too low on the totem pole for a position. This is a terrible shame, and you have to afford a certain degree of empathy, but don’t dare sympathize. You’ll enable them. Then, you become either too much a friend, or too much an enemy.

You’re going to be on the receiving end, if you are associated with this dipshit. If they are a secretary, you’ll be taught how to organize. If they’re a janitor, your house is in shambles. Ask them, they’ll tell you. It only gets better as the jobs get more obscure and unrelated to your day-to-day minutiae. Have you ever heard the jargon associated with the pharmaceutical industry? Ask the guy who checks security passes at the door. You want to know about the details of a super-advanced alternative fuel engine? Get a friend who works in the assembly line at Honda building door liners.

How do you deal with this breed of dipshit? Good thing you asked. Being an expert on Dipshitology, I have a lot of experience in dealing with them. One time, when Bob at the office found himself in league with a dipshit, he…

You ignore them. If you really want to push their buttons, you find and stockpile citations for real facts of their industry that are above their heads. Throw a few in their faces, and it can be chalked up to their “area of expertise not encompassing that particular topic,” but if you throw a new one in their face every time they open their mouths, you win and ultimately the dipshit leaves you alone.


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Profiling: A Calendar

May 2008
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