Symptom #5 – Bad Driving

Have you ever had the pleasure of following someone in a fast lane who has decided that 45 is a safe speed? Have you ever wondered just when a person was going to decide which lane they should be in? Chances are, you were dealing with a dipshit.

Dipshits can’t drive like normal people. Ask them, and each and every one of them has a reason why they can’t. Understand that dipshits always have to be the exception, they can never been the rule. Once they become like everyone else, they can’t hold themselves as better than everyone. Dipshit drivers take this to the extreme however, putting lives in danger to guarantee their uniqueness. Expect lane shifts without signal, expect abrupt starts and stops. If they hit your vehicle, expect them to laugh it off or to cry hysterically. Rational behavior is not allowed for this breed of dipshit, which is largely unsurprising.

How would you deal with this type of dipshit? This depends on how much you value your particular vehicle. If you think a ding or two couldn’t hurt, fight them tooth and nail. They drive with the emergency light on in the fast lane? Play chicken with them, and find out how close you can get without touching. They shift lanes without signaling? Pass them without signal, slow down, let them overtake you, and repeat. If your car is sufficiently valuable that the risk isn’t worth it, I’ve provided a less aggressive but still often effective solution:

1) Print the following image:

2) Carry it with you at all times.

3) When dealing with dipshits, make certain they’re aware of their transgressions. If laminated, it serves well to hold up in your car window in lieu of the tired old middle finger. Besides, the middle finger is far too vague a statement.

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